Great quote

"Stupidity is an elemental force for which no earthquake is a match."
                       -Karl Kraus

Little Funnies

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings.  Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.

 

Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said, "Johnny, what is the matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."

            

 

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?""

The mother replied, "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."

The child thought about this for a moment then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"

 

 

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class.  As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!"

While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. she got up, brushed herself off, and started running again!  As she ran she once again began to pray,

"Dear Lord, please don't let me be late ... But please don't shove me either!"

   

 

A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"

 

He answered, "Call for backup.

 

 

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.  After explaining the commandment to "Honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, "Thou shall not  kill."

 

 

Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil.  One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?"

 

The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad."