"Emotions are energy in motion."
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Cute enough to share
The broken lawnmower
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf, the house, always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived
home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away
with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then
went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I
handed her a toothbrush.
I said, when you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
Moral to this story: Marriage is a relationship, in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband!
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Church
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.
"How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said. "All yo have to do is add it up, like the paster said. 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer.
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A little girlwas sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally, she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
"Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."
Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't he?"
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
An Italian Mother
Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner. He lives with a female roommate Maria. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Anthony's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Anthony volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking! , but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Momma,
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the sugar bowl from my house; I'm not saying that you 'did not' take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love, Anthony
Several days later, Anthony received a response email from his Momma which read:
Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Maria, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found thesugar bowl by now.
Love, Momma
Lesson: Never lie to your Momma...especially, if she's Italian.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Saturday, July 7, 2007
Blogger Award
I was quite shocked & pleasantly surprised to learn that Katie from Turning The Pages (now private) passed this award onto my journal! Wow! Someone actually reads it!
According to the Rules of the Award, I have to pass the Award on to 5 other girls whose blogs I read and enjoy. And they, in turn, pass it on to 5 girls blogs that they enjoy.
Only 5! But there are so many! Here is goes:
Indigo - Raven's Lament - who must thousands of these already, but who has always been supportive & understanding to me.
Brittany - Juicy Apple Designs - for the incredible graphic tags she makes for everyone!
Dawn - Carpe Diem - Seize the Day - who has a lot on her plate, yet remains a verystrong & supportive to everyone else.
Kathy - Yadayadayada (private, also has a public journal A Little Left of Center) - who has been with me since the beginning & has such a lovely journal herself!
Deb - Frosty Thoughts - who always has time to read my journals & provides me with stories of what life is like from across the country.
Thank you Katie!
Friday, July 6, 2007
Weekend Assignment #173: Share a Joke (redone)
Weekend Assignment #173: Share a joke. Make it funny. Also, since I'll want to link back to them, and I am, after all, but a cog in the great AOL machine, keep it reasonably clean and free of ethnic/sexual put-downs. You know. http://journals.aol.com/johnmscalzi/bytheway
(I posted this one a couple of months ago, but it is still one of my favorites!)
Someone at Google Has a Great Sense of Humor!
1. go to www.google.com
2. click on "maps," above the search bar...
3. click on "get directions"
4. type "New York" in the first box (the "from" box)
5. type "Paris" in the second box (the "to" box)
6. click on "get directions"
6. scroll down to step #23
What you would have seen had Google not discontinued this!:
From Google Maps
Get directions:
Start: New York, NY
End: Paris, France
Travel 3,800 mi (about 29 days 7 hours)
Drive: 3,800 mi (about 29 days 7 hours)
1. Head southeast on Chambers St toward Broadway................0.2 mi 1 min
2. Turn right at Centre St................0.1 mi
3. Slight left at Park Row................210 ft
4. Sharp left at Frankfort St................0.3 mi 1 min
5. Turn left at Pearl St................ 56 ft
6. Turn right onto the F.D.R. Dr N ramp................0.4 mi 1 min
7. Take exit 17 on the left for Triboro Bridge/Grand Central Pkwy toward I-278/Bruckner Expy ................0.4 mi 2 mins
8. Merge onto Triborough Bridge Partial toll road................0.4 mi 1 min
9. Merge onto I-278 E via the ramp to I-87 N/Bronx/Upstate NY/New England................0.6 mi 1 min
10. Take exit 47 to merge onto Bruckner Expy/I-278 E toward New Haven...............1.9 mi 2 mins
11. Take the I-278 E exit toward New Haven................0.3 mi
12. Merge onto Bruckner Expy...............5.0 mi 6 mins
13. Continue on I-95 N Partial toll road Entering Connecticut .................62.1 mi 1 hour 12 mins
14. Take exit 48 on the left to merge onto I-91 N toward Hartford...............36.8 mi 37 mins
15. Take exit 29 for US-5 N/CT-15 toward I-84/E Hartford/Boston.............0.4 mi
16. Merge onto CT-15 N...............1.7 mi 2 mins
17. Merge onto I-84 E Partial toll road Entering Massachusetts................40.7 mi 38 mins
18. Take the exit onto I-90 E/Mass Pike/Massachusetts Turnpike toward N.H.-Maine/Boston Partial toll road................. 56.0 mi 56 min 19. Take exit 24 A-B-C on the left toward I-93 N/Concord NH/S Station/I-93 S/Quincy...............0.4 mi 1 min
20. Merge onto Atlantic Ave................0.8 mi 3 mins
21. Turn right at Central St................0.1 mi
22. Turn right at Long Wharf................0.1 mi
23. Swim across the Atlantic Ocean................3,462 mi 29 days 0 hours
24. Slight right at E05...............0.5 mi 2 mins
25. At the traffic circle, take the 2nd exit onto E05/Pont Vauban...............0.1 mi
26. Turn right at E05 Partial toll road................17.3 mi 22 mins
27. At the traffic circle, take the 2nd exit onto A131/E05 heading to A131/Rouen/Paris/Evreux Partial toll road................9.1 mi 8 mins
28. Take the exit onto A13/E05/L'Autoroute de Normandie Partial toll road................20.3 mi 17 mins
29. Take the exit onto A13/E05/L'Autoroute de Normandie Partial toll road................56.5 mi 47 mins
30. Take the exit on the left onto A14 toward Nanterre/La Défense Partial toll road..............12.5 mi 16 mins
31. Slight right at N13................1.4 mi 3 mins
32. Turn right at Avenue de Neuilly/N13................269 ft
33. At the traffic circle, take the 4th exit onto Avenue de la Grande Armée................0.7 mi 3 mins
34. At Place Charles de Gaulle, take the 5th exit onto Avenue des Champs-Elysées...............1.3 mi 3 mins
35. Slight right at Voie Georges Pompidou ................1.4 mi 3 mins
36. Slight left to stay on Voie Georges Pompidou................440 ft
37. Slight right at Quai de la Mégisserie................377 ft
38. Continue on Quai de Gesvres 0.2 mi.................1 min
39. Turn left at Place de l'Hôtel de Ville................194 ft
Tags: ny to paris, jokes
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