Cute enough to share

The broken lawnmower

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf, the house, always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived
home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away
with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then
went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I
handed her a toothbrush.

I said, when you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Moral to this story: Marriage is a relationship, in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband!

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Church

 

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"

 

"Sixteen," the boy responded.  His cousin was  amazed that he had an answer so quickly.

 

"How do you know  that?"

 

"Easy," the little boy said. "All yo have to do is add it up, like the paster said. 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer.

 

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A little girlwas sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story.  From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek.  She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally, she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"

 

"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time  ago."

 

"Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"

 

"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while  ago."

 

Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't he?"

 

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An Italian Mother

Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son  Anthony for dinner. He lives with a female roommate Maria. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Anthony's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.

 

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if  there was more between Anthony and roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Anthony  volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking! , but I assure  you, Maria and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You  don't suppose she took it, do you?"

Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote:

Dear Momma,

 

I'm not saying that you 'did' take the sugar bowl from my house; I'm not saying that you 'did not' take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Anthony

Several days later, Anthony received a  response email from his Momma which read:

Dear Son,

 

I'm not saying  that you 'do' sleep with Maria, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found thesugar bowl  by now.

Love, Momma

 

Lesson: Never lie to your  Momma...especially, if she's Italian.

 

 

Tags: humor