Happy Thanksgiving!

Wishing everyone a wonderful Thanksgiving!

I am truly thankful for my children who make me laugh (most of the time!), my family, friends who helped me through many rough times, a couple of Angels who have given me guidance when I was at a loss of what to do and to a very special person who I am very, very lucky to have in my life!

Job Applicant

Below is an actual job application that this 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in California. They hired him because they thought he was funny......

Name: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard)

Sex: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate).

Desired Position: Company President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

Desired Salaray: $185,000 a year plus stock options & a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer & we can haggle.

Education: Yes

Last Position Held: Target for middle management hositility.

Previous Salary: A lot less than I'm worth.

Most Notable Achievement: My incredible collection of stolen pens & post-it notes.

Reason For Leaving: It sucked.

Hours Available To Work: Any.

Preferred Hours: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday & Thursday.

Do You Have Any Special Skills?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

May We Contact Your Current Employer?: If I had one, would I be here?

Do You Have Any Physical Conditions That Would Prohibit You From Listing Up to 50 lbs.?: Of what?

Do You Have a Car?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

Have You Received Any Special Awards Or Recognition?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

Do You Smoke?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!

What Would You Like To Be Doing In Five Years?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

Nearest Relative: 7 miles.

Do You Certify That The Above Is True & Complete To The Best Of Your Knowledge?: Oh yes, absolutely.

Don't Judge Too Quickly........

Maybe my sense of humor has become warped, but I thought it was hysterical!


YouTube - Don't judge too quickly - Ameriquest (romantic dinner)

Dancing with God

Dancing With God

When I meditated on the word Guidance, I kept seeing 'dance' at the end of the word. I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing. When two people try to lead, nothing feels right. The movement doesn't flow with the music, And everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky. When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead, Both bodies begin to flow with the music.

One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back Or by pressing Lightly in one direction or another. It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully. The dance takes surrender, willingness, And attentiveness from one person And gentle guidance and skill from the other.

My eyes drew back to the word Guidance. When I saw 'G': I thought of God, followed by 'u' and 'I. 'God, 'u' and 'I dance.' God, you, and I dance.

As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust That I would get guidance about my life. Once again, I became willing to let God lead. My prayer for you today is that God's blessings And mercies are upon you on this day and everyday.

May you abide in God, as God abides in you. Dance together with God, trusting God to lead And to guide you through each season of your life.

"For J.....we always seem to "collide" on the outside, but I know in my heart... when all is quiet...when we shut the world out, we melt together. Miss you."

Kids Are Quick

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'

MILLIE: I is..

TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'

MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher

Too Much To Believe

Two touching videos:

http://www.jumpcut.com/view/?id=0DA33AA631BE11DCB635000423CF037A

YouTube - Nick Vujicic-Hong Kong Tour - an incredible story

Have you ever wondered...............

Have you ever wondered what "pissed off" really looks like?

A Cup of Tea

Only a Mom would know

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home..

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!'

My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know...)

'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?