This Just Says It All

          

             

Name Game

Cute & fun (as sent to me in an email,

 

1. Your real name:
Ralph Samuel Smith

2. Your gangsta Name: (first 4 letters of real name)
Ralp

 

 

3. YOUR SPY NAME: (favorite color & favorite animal)
Blue Dog

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (last name & street you live on)
Smith Ravine

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)
Smitra

6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (Your 2nd favorite color, and favorite drink)
Yellow Greygoose

 

7. YOUR IRAQI NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, 1st letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, and last letter of your moms middle name)
Aisrnle

 

8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (parents middle names):
Samuel Barbara

 

9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one of your pets)

Black Sandy

10. YOUR PORN STAR NAME: (the name of your first pet & the name of the street you grew up on)

Fluffy Wellington

A True Friend

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never say it's not quite as good as his mothers ...
 
 ...then buy a dog.
 
 
If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want ...
  
...then buy a dog.
 
 
If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies.
 
 ...then buy a dog.
 
 
If you want someone who is content to get on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores ...
 
...then buy a dog !
 
If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually ...
 
  
...then buy a dog.
 
 
 
BUT, on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only
comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness

.

.

.

.

.

          

                 Then buy a cat!

 

Now be honest, you thought I was gonna say... marry a man, didn't you?!

Funny

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their
family member lay gravely ill.


Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.


"I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces.


"The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant.
It's an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope.


Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves.."


The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?"


The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain."


The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.


A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask,


"Why is the male brain so much more?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used."

Get a sneak peek of the all-new AOL.com.

Relieving Stress

I love this site! Great place to relieve my stress ~ especially in manic mode!

 

http://uk.download.yahoo.com/ne/fu/attachments/bubblewrap.swf

Good Advise

     Read books that you enjoy... 
      

         Play with simple things...

Do whatever you want when you want... 

Look for affection when you need it...

          

    Get serious once in a while...

        

            Forget about diets...

     

         Show some affection...

     

       Get angry once in a while...

    

            Change your look...

         

Be happy, above all, regardless what your challenges may be.

        

                 

                   Live simply.
               Love generously.
                  Care deeply.
                  Speak kindly.

"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."

 

Funny

 

    

 

 

A Couple lived near the ocean & used to walk the beach a lot.  One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach almost every day. She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing; she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around furtively, then speak to them.

 

Generally, the people would respond negatively & she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod & there would be a quick exchange of money & something she carried in her bag.

The couple assumed that she was selling drugs & debated calling the cops, but since they didn't know for sure, they just continued to watch her.

After a couple of weeks the wife said, "Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes & other electronic devices?"

He hadn't -- and said so.

Then she said, "Tomorrow I want you to get a towel & our big radio & go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she's really doing."

Well, the plan went off without a hitch & the wife was almost hopping up & down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband & then leave.

The man then walked up the beach & met his wife at the road.

"Well, Is she selling drugs?" she asked excitedly.

"No, she's not," he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have.

 

"Well, what is it then? What does she do?" his wife fairly shrieked.

The man grinned & said, "She's a battery salesperson."

 

"Batteries?" cried the wife.

 

"Yes."  he replied -

 

 

 

SCROLL DOWN

 

 

 

 

 

 

OOOOH - You're gonna dislike me for this - but it will make your day!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"........ She sells C cells down by the seashore."

Snagged the "Yaya Sisters" from

http://loveconquersall.typepad.com/my_weblog/

Couldn't resist! Probably because they are so true!!!

 

                   

  

              

Tags: humor

 

                            After the Honeymoon

        

 

Please excuse the rough language in the following story...

 

I would have deleted them, but the story wouldn't be the same.

(Keep reading - you'll laugh)

 

A young couple got married & went on their honeymoon.  When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.

 

"Well", said her mother, "so how was the honeymoon?"

 

"Oh mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic.... Suddenly she burst out crying.  "But mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language -- things I'd never heard before!  I mean, all these awful 4-letter words!  You've got to take me home! PLEASE MAMA!

 

"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down!  You need to stay with your husband & work this out.  Now tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT 4-letter words?"

 

"Please don't make me tell you, mam," wept the daughter.  "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!!"

 

"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset.  Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!

 

Sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, mama..., he used words like: dust, wash, iron & cook..."

 

"I'll pick you up in 20 minutes" said the mother.

Tags: humor

My response

i am sick and tired of everyone that is blasting o,j,he has a right to say what ever he wants to.this is a free country.or i thought it was .it is if it dont apply to o,j,.dont every one remember that his was aquited by a jury of his peers.he was framed big time by mark furmann & the whole la rest of them ,i hope i live long enough to finalt find out who really killed ron & nicole.ans as for goldman i am sorry for his lost but why would he want to publish a book that he fought so hard to keep from being published?. velma
#1 Comment from pasflash78 - 8/5/07 2:35 PM

 

I have to respond to this. First of all, just because he was acquitted, doesn't mean he is innocent.  I readily admit that I liked OJ Simpson when he was playing football. After watching the trial, listening to BOTH sides, reading about the evidence, I believe he did it. He was not framed.

Second, it is a FREE country & I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY HOW I FEEL TOO.

It is fact that OJ was abusive towards Nicole when they were married.  Did you know that even if you divorce an abusive spouse, there is a high probability that they will do something again? Have you ever been told by the police not to press charges because it only makes them angrier? Have you ever been told by the court that your children could be taken away from you because you didn't have the courage to leave? Never mind he was the one with the anger problem.

I have. First I stayed because I loved him. Then I stayed because I truly believed he would get "better". Then it was because I didn't have a job or money & I had a toddler & a baby at the time. 

Excuses - NO. If you haven't walked in my shoes, you have no right to judge.  What does an abusive woman look like to you? I grew up with commercials of a women with black eyes.  I was always waiting for the black eye.

No one ever explains that being pushed down the stairs, thrown over furniture, kicked in the stomach while pregnant, punching holes in the wall, leaving for days at a time, spending all the money is abusive (& more). To a person outside the situation, it is quite obvious that this is abuse. To the person who is being abused, this unfortunately becomes the norm. 

My relationship did not start out that way. He was charming, loving, romantic & my family loved him.  The first incident happened after about a year.  Then he came back with a dozen roses, gave the "I'm sorry, I'll never do it again" story & because I was in love with him, I wanted to believe him.  Now just repeat that pattern for another 15 years.

What I found out after separating from him, was that with an abusive relationship, things get worse, not better.  The abuser has to admit to having a problem & be willing to get help. It is a long road from there. Most guys can't even admit they have a problem. 

My ex was court ordered to go to anger management classes.  After the first meeting, he said he didn't have a problem & didn't go back.  The court did nothing. I have stacks of court orders that he has not followed & the court has done nothing about.

Being in an abusive relationship becomes very secretive & solitary.  You are too embarrassed to let anyone see the bruises. You have been told over & over that it was your fault for making him angry & you deserved it.  You lose your friends because he always starts a fight & you have to cancel all the time. Your family knows nothing because they think he is the greatest husband & in your mindset, you are too ashamed to tell them.  Your whole way of thinking centers around this person, how to make him feel better or how not to make him mad.

I remember screaming for someone to call 911, hoping one of the neighbors would hear. No one did. His family actually took me to the emergency room, but couldn't admit that their son had a problem. 

Going to court for the divorce was almost just as bad.  I was asked why I didn't leave (shouldn't they have asked him why he didn't get help?). No one believed my side of the story because, once again, he could be quite charming.  It took a couple of years of dealing with his lies & behavior for the court to finally see the truth.  Was I scared? I just had to look at his eyes, see the shift to anger & I would be terrified. Do I believe he would still come after me after all these years? Absolutely. Why? Because he can't control his anger & always took it out on me.  Would I fight back? You better believe it. 

That is what I see in OJ. That look. The acting. The denial. Every time he comes out in public, his behavior is even more ludicrous.

So my point of view comes from experiencing this first hand. I suggest you read up on people who are abusive - their behavior, their actions & then watch OJ.  Listen to women who have been abused. Your eyes may just open.

Tags: abuse, oj, response, experience

Need to Laugh

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.

After the check-up, the doctor took the wife aside & said, "If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die".

 

1.  Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast and send him off to work in a good mood.
 
2.  At lunch time, make him a warm, nutritious meal and put him in a good frame of mind before he goes back to work.

3.  For dinner, fix an especially nice meal, and don't burden him with household chores.

4.  Have sex with him several times a week and satisfy his every whim. 

On the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor had told her.

"You're going to die," she replied.

 

                

Another Blonde Joke

                                  

SICK LEAVE

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave.  I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a few days off.

So I hung upside down from the ceiling & made funny noises.  My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY" & give me a few days off. 

A few minutes later, the Boss came into the office & asked "What are you doing?" I told him I was a light bulb. 

He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home & recuperate for a couple of days." 

I jumped down & walked out of the office.  When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss said to her, "And where do you think you're going?"

 

 

(You're gonna love this....)

 

 

She said, 

 

 

"I'm going home too. I can't work in the dark!"

Outrageous Online Interviews with OJ Simpson

Has anyone heard about the interviews OJ Simpson is doing on www.MN1.com (Market News First)?  I first heard about this on Z100 (NY's local music radio station) & I am outraged.

This is taken from MSNBC.com:

O.J. Simpson criticizes Goldman family Online interview features hostile questions from public

Updated: 11:03 p.m. CT July 31, 2007

LOS ANGELES - O.J. Simpson lashed out Tuesday at the family of the late Ronald Goldman, a day after they won the rights to Simpson's canceled "If I Did It" book about the slayings of Goldman and Simpson's ex-wife.

In an online interview featuring questions from hostile participants, the former football star criticized Goldman's family for seeking to profit from the book after they said it promoted criminality and commercialized abuse.

A federal bankruptcy judge in Miami awarded the book rights to Goldman's family Monday to satisfy a $38 million wrongful death judgment against Simpson.

"I find it sort of hypocritical that they talked everybody in America to boycott the book: it was 'immoral,' it was 'blood money,'" he told interviewer Kate Delaney. "But we now see it wasn't 'blood money' if they got the money."

Goldman attorney David Cook said his clients were justified in accepting rights to the book as payment for the judgment against Simpson.

"Mr. Simpson himself has placed us in this horrific setting of seeking to liquidate this asset," he said. "His comments are beyond redemption."

Simpson has maintained his innocence in the killings of ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Goldman in 1994. Simpson, who now lives near Miami, was acquitted of murder in 1995 but lost lawsuits to both families.

The book, in which Simpson reportedly explains how he might have committed the killings, was never released because of public outrage.

Simpson used much of Tuesday's interview broadcast on business news Web site Market News First to reiterate that he maintained many fans and supporters, a fact he accused the media of obscuring.

But he found little support from members of the call-in audience, whose derisive phoned-in questions he avoided answering at times.

One caller asked the former football player if he thought it was "a bigger feat to break 2,000 yards in one season or slice two necks in one night."

Simpson seemed not to hear the question, which interviewer Delaney reinterpreted for him as, "What was your biggest accomplishment, basically, in football?"

The made-for-Internet studio environment was considerably more austere than that of his last major TV appearance, when he was interviewed for NBC by Katie Couric in 2004.

On several occasions, Simpson and Delaney sat silent. At another point, he called toward an off-camera section of the studio, "Hey, please close that door, guys."

Dallas-based Market News First said Simpson was not paid for his hour long appearance, the first of four to be broadcast throughout the week.

Simpson said in the interview that he agreed to participate because the Web site's staff made him feel like he would be able to express "what's really been going on," rather than being "cross examined."

"Sometimes you want to have a voice," he said. "I'm tired of people talking for me."

O.J. Simpson criticizes Goldman family - Celebrity News - MSNBC.com

Here is where I vent about this low life so I am giving you fair warning. 

"If I Did It"? You have got to be kidding. What book company would sink so low as to even entertain writing a book about his pretend side of the murder if he were to have done it. 

Top that off with MN1.com agreeing to do four interviews with him.  Are they insane? Just their agreeing to letting him have a voice is ludicrous.  I hope they realize that they just discredited their name by making so many people angry & disgusted at giving him a voice. 

When will MN1 air interviews with Nicole Simpson & Ron Goldman's family?  When do Nicole & Ron get to speak for themselves?

It is bad enough that this murderer got off, but why is anyone giving him any kind of publicity.  Why hasn't he been blacklisted from any kind of media?  He may not be getting paid for these interviews, but I believe this opens up an opportunity for potentially paid interviews.

I really believe he has gone into such a deep state of denial that he actually believes he did not murder his ex-wife & boyfriend. Then again, I believe there is a part of him that does know what he did.

Why? Because I recognize that look on his face - in his eyes. The liar's face. The I didn't do it, she is overreacting face. The pretend acting that goes along with this look.  The pompous look of I'm Fooling Everyone. My gut reaction & outward disgust at the mention of him. My ex-husband had that face, acted like he didn't do anything wrong. It was always my fault. I brought his anger on. I deserved it.

Just writing about this makes me furious & sick to my stomach again.  I don't even want to give him space here, but I want to inform as many people as I can to what OJ is up to.

I urge you to boycott the interviews.  Turn the tv/computer/radio off at any mention of OJ's name. Don't buy any books about him. Write how you feel in your journal. Tell as many people as you can.

Contact MN1.com & voice your opinion:

(If you have any questions or concerns regarding Market News First or MN1's services, please contact us using the information provided below.

Market News First & MN1 Radio
1950 Stemmons Freeway
Suite 3050
Dallas, Texas 75207
214.461.3400 - office
214.461.3440 - fax
866.495.4122 - Radio request line

info@marketnewsfirst.com
requests@marketnewsfirst.com

Keep contacting any media source that gives OJ any voice.

Thank you for hearing me out.

Tags: sob, low life, MN1's loss of integrity, scum, murderer, abuser